MoviePass gonna MoviePass.
Image: DARRON CUMMINGS/AP/REX/SHUTTERSTOCK
It isn't easy being MoviePass right now.
Over the past few months, the subscription-based movie ticket service has lost millions of dollars, run out of money, limited its titles, and changed its pricing models more times than we could count. It's lost customers (some of whom found it exceedingly difficult to get out) and been hit with an investigation by the New York Attorney General.
Somehow, they've survived — but their reputation has taken a serious hit in the process. Naturally, then, they're eager to get back into the good graces of their understandably disgruntled customers.
Which is why on Wednesday evening, MoviePass subscribers checked their inboxes to find a message with the subject line "We’re listening. We’re learning. We're changing."
Inside, they found this.
Image: Moviepass / Erin STrecker
That's it. That's the entire email. Apparently, all that "listening" and "learning" and "changing" that MoviePass claims it's doing has resulted in little more than vague promises and silly dog puns.
What's more, the dog herself admits that she can't explain WTF happened with MoviePass. Chloe says it's because she's a dog and can't talk, but consider the following:
1) Clearly she can type, so she could've explained the "'ruff' experience" via email if she'd wanted to; and
2) This is not what transparency looks like, MoviePass!
Look, we like adorable animals in our inbox as much as anyone. But this email is bullshit. It's basically a ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ to all the customers fed up with getting dicked around. Only they're making a dog do the shrugging, and hoping she's cute enough that you'll forget you're still mad.
It's not the most annoying thing MoviePass has done, not by a long shot. But it's telling that, faced with the challenge of smoothing things over with their furious customers, Chloe from "Barketing" was the best they could come up with.
Girl, congrats on the new job — but please, don't contact us again until you have some actual information to share.